Rear Admiral Jadrice Kayia (Gear) Midral was slouched, in the near-perfect darkness, in a solitary chair in her temporary quarters on the base. They were not what she was accustomed to - fairly barren, no 'homey' touches - but she did not particularly care. Not now.

What had she done...? How could she have fallen so far without seeing it? She, who had once stood as an edifice of Federation virtues, who had taught two generations of Starfleet Officers exactly what their uniform meant... She had never meant Buck harm - how could she, really? He was her son... And as much as she may have hated his match to that wom- that thing, she could never have knowingly caused her son the pain of losing his beloved... And yet, somehow, she had been the cause. At least in part.

And she had to pay the penalty for that. And soon, before her husband... before Becknar made her pay for it. And he would be much less forgiving than a cyanide cap. She fondled the pill in one hand, looking at the glass of water in her other. She had faced death many times - but always death with a purpose. This ignominious, cowardly end... It made her feel ill, as much as she sought its embrace. She looked at the tablet in the dim starlight, fading in and out of focus.

And then, out of the darkness the door chime sounded, once.

An excuse for postponement... Jadrice put the pill down on the table beside her, concealing it behind the glass of water.

"Come."

The door opened, silhouetting the form of a woman, her hands clasped behind her back. It was Jesa's command gesture, and she didn't even realize she was doing it. It was a sign of her hope, a sign of the fact that if she survived the night it might be worthwhile to continue on for quite a time beyond today. Jesa stepped into the darkness and the door shut behind her.

Her eyes adjusted in under a second to the darkness, and she saw Jadrice's form, sitting in a chair. Jesa waited a moment for acknowledgement, but when none came, Jesa walked to where Jadrice could see her easily - as easily as she could see anyone in the darkness. "Hello," she said, finally. Her tone wasn't unfriendly, but it wasn't exactly one of overwhelming warmth.

"Mrs. Callen. To what do I owe the... honor?" Jadrice looked up at her, a sad, broken shell of her former self. All of her fire had been drained by one evening. She bore the expression of a soul with no more to lose.

The Changeling noted Jadrice's state and thought about what Buck had said about what Becknar would probably do. Jesa squatted down to be more at Jadrice's level and looked over at her. "I was just curious about one thing in my - tirade earlier. Why were you here today? Last I had heard you were assigned far from this sector."

Jadrice chuckled. The irony was not wasted on her.

"I was trying to ingratiate myself with those who tried to kill my son and his wife." A half-truth. If she was lucky, Jesa would make the end a little more bearable than the tablet. She just had to annoy the Changeling a little past her endurance...

Jesa looked at her carefully, wondering if she could take that for the truth. Of course, it didn't matter since she didn't state a motivation in that. Only implied one. "Why?"

Jadrice sighed. "Why does it matter? I was there. I'm as guilty as the rest of them - you can have your revenge right here, right now. We both know you can kill me and not leave a trace of your presence. All I ask, from one soldier to another, is that you make it quick." The old Betazoid stared into the eyes of her daughter-in-law. A crooked smile - no, a crooked, lopsided grin - appeared on her face.

"I only kill those who are trying to kill me - or someone I care about. Were you?" Jesa responded, sitting down on the floor cross-legged, facing Jadrice. They both knew it wasn't a weakness of position, she could be up again faster than a blink. She found the rather familiar grin disturbing, but kept it from her expression.

"I..." Jadrice made it a point not to lie. Never directly, at least... How could she answer that question without... without giving the game away? "I was not one of the assassins - but you know that, having dispatched them."

"Do you want me dead?" Jesa asked, point blank, trying to trap this woman into telling her the truth. There was a subtle anger starting to rise in her; she both recognized it, and dismissed it.

Jadrice chuckled, lightly, wheezing. "Damn..." She looked up and down the woman in front of her - what a bundle of surprises she was... and stronger than even she knew. "No... I do not want you dead. Far from it."

Jesa's eyebrow rose slightly, and she wondered if she could believe this woman. Taking a moment to figure out what the differences were in believing that statement and not, she decided that for the moment she would take it at face value. "I love Buck, and I do want to stop those who keep trying to kill us, preferably in a permanent fashion." That was the understatement of the century, but she continued anyway. "But if you are not one of those, why should I wish you harm?"

"Because they found you through me? And because I have... I have failed as a mother... In a great many respects...." Jadrice's voice trailed off.

In some ways, Jesa was shocked at the admission. Not for the fact of it, but for having witnessed Jadrice saying it.

"Well, you've just gained some respect from me by the fact of you realizing it..." Jesa said. "But for this you're contemplating suicide?" She gestured at the glass, behind which the pill sat, she had seen it on her way around Jadrice's chair. One didn't sit alone in a dark room contemplating taking medication. "Buck is fine, well, as fine as we ever are these days, but that is more my fault. Jelandra is doing well, a lot better than she used to be, actually. They're both still alive, and decent people, so why would you want to stop here rather than go forward?"

"Because it's nothing to do with me? Because Becknar and his damnable father were better parents than ever I was? Because they found you and Buck because I was desperately looking for evidence that you were using him!" She broke down, crying, and slumped back into her chair.

None of that surprised Jesa very much but she hesitated a moment, wondering if Jadrice would find the idea of a Changeling wanting to help her, disgusting. Many still held revulsion at her race. Either way, Jesa was Jesa, and here was a very lost soul. Though as the humans said, 'hell must have frozen over' for her to be witnessing such a thing. Slowly Jesa stood up and moved beside Jadrice, reaching out and squeezing her shoulder gently. "But you can still know your family. They are not lost."

The old woman looked up into Jesa's eyes. The last time Jesa had seen that desperate, lost expression, it had been on the face of her husband... The association pained her but she did not turn away. So Buck had more of his mother about him than he thought... Slowly, Jadrice placed her hand on Jesa's...

"I... I..." She couldn't think of anything to say, save for the redundant. Redundant, but it needed to be said. "I'm sorry, Jesa... Wife of my son, Daughter of my House... I'm sorry..." The tears fell less steadily, but they still came.

Jesa smiled very slightly, sadly at the show of acceptance on Jadrice's part, and leaned over, wrapping her arms around the Betazoid woman's shoulders to give her a gentle hug. After all, everyone needed to cry every now and again - she knew that better than most, and she couldn't even cry real tears. And everyone, Jesa knew even better, whether they admitted or not, could use a little comfort in this universe. The seal on her decision came with the thought that if Jesa died tomorrow, which at this point was still a distinct possibility in her mind, at least there would be something left.

Slowly - so very, very tired - Jadrice folded her arms around her daughter-in-law. "Tell Buck... Tell Buck that I'll see him at your anniversary - my duty schedule will permit it, I promise... It's the fourth one, this year, isn't it?"

Jesa thought for a moment. She hadn't even bothered to check the current stardate, and had to think back to the last thing she had seen with one on it - Deina's report. Calculating back she realized that Jadrice was right, "Yes, yes it is." She leaned back from Jadrice and squatted down again, leaning a forearm on the arm of the chair and looking at Jadrice carefully. "Will you be alright?"

The old woman's face softened, smiling. "I think I will, my dear. Thank you. And yourself? I don't suppose they'll dare try anything after your little outburst, but I could have my personal guard escort you back to your ship, if you'd like..."

"That's alright," Jesa said with a smile. "I have always liked moving about on my own. Drives the chief security officer on the Isannah nuts, at least it used to. We will see how things unfold from here."

Jadrice nodded, and grinned, lopsidedly. "Indeed, Captain. Indeed."

Jesa stood up and squeezed Jadrice's shoulder again gently, then left with as little ceremony as she arrived.

After she had been alone a few moments, Jadrice stood up. "Lights." The room was illuminated. She picked up the pill, walked over to the water closet, and flushed it down the toilet. "There are, I think, many more interesting ways to die. I believe I shall wait for one..."